If there are control issues in the marriage, both people are coming from the primitive Caveman Brain with a predator/prey mentality. The good news is that it takes just one person to shift the dynamic. Here is an explanation of the predator/prey relationship, some tips on how to shift it, and resources to learn more.
DISCLAIMER: This coaching information is provided for typical marital mistakes. It is not intended to take the place of therapy or provide advice for abusive relationships.